The Power of Encouragement
Paul told the church in Thessalonica:
"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." (5:11)
Paul told the church in Ephesus:
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." (4:29)
Can you think of a time when you were feeling very down? Fear or shame dominated your heart. You were down and depressed. Your hope was dim. The grey clouds were out and about. Your heart felt... broken.
You reached out to someone you respect. Someone who cares about you. And that person gave you the perfect encouragement that changed the way you felt. Changed the way you thought. And suddenly you felt your broken heart being "built up".
That's the power of encouragement.
And here's the truth.... All of us... Need it. Lot's of it too.
But what's interesting is that though we all need it and though we all thoroughly enjoy when someone encourages us - sometimes it's so darn hard to do it. Sometimes we fumble over our words. Sometimes, it's pride that keeps us from "stooping so low". For many of us, it's challenging... "How do you do that?"
Recently, I received a Pastoral training on something rather interesting. It wasn't on how to preach better or how to get more volunteers. No, it was about how to encourage.
Our training mentioned three things that I found memorable and very practical. I'd like to share those with you, THC. Keep this in mind especially in the context of your Family Churches.
HOW TO ENCOURAGE:
1. Sincere -
It begins with "why".
"Why am I about to encourage this person?" - This is the question you need to start with.
Real encouragement begins with a true and genuine heart towards said person and said action.
The bible is clear that flattery is a sin. (Psalms 5:9). Flattery is defined as:
"excessive and insincere praise, especially that given to further one's own interests."
So, if the reason you want to encourage this person is actually self-serving in some way. Slap yo self for your selfishness (slap softly). Have a moment of repenting before the Lord and ask Him to give you a sincere heart that wants only to serve the other person.
Personally speaking, this is sometimes an area of struggle for me. You see, I'm a "words-of-affirmation-guy". I love to give and receive love through encouragements and affirmations.
Sometimes when I feel discouraged, I find myself reaching out to others to encourage them. Part of this is good because I've been trained (correctly) to not focus on me but on others when feeling down. But what I sometimes find, in myself, is that I'm hoping for the other person to return the favor and encourage me.
In those moments, I need to anchor my heart to the deeply encouraging truth in the gospel. That is enough for me. He is sufficient. He is the firm foundation I need.
Encouragement that blesses God's heart must be based in sincere love for the other person. And one of the characteristics of Christ-like love is that it isn't "self-seeking" (1 Corinthians 13:4)
So... check yo self before you... encourage (Man... I was hoping that could rhyme somehow...oh well).
True encouragement is based in a desire to "build up" the other person, not yourself.
2. Specific -
Don't generalize your encouragement. Pin-point WHY said person or action blessed you.
Don't say to someone who just led worship:
"Hey, great job!"
Say:
"Hey, those were great worship songs. I enjoyed how much passion you sang with. Thanks ______ for leading us in song."
Don't say to someone who just shared something vulnerable:
"Thanks for sharing."
Say:
"Thank you for sharing what you shared. It blesses me that you would trust us with this level of vulnerability. That reminds me that I, too, can freely share in a trusting community."
Do you see? Be more specific. Craft your words in your mind before you say them. The truth is that all four statements above are well-intentioned. They are designed to "build up" and encourage another person. But the reality is simple and generalized encouragements fall off like water poured on a wet penguin's back. We easily forget. They don't have "staying" power in our hearts. They don't "move" us to continue in our mission. They don't inspire.
If you really want to "build up" the other person. Build them up! With sincere specificity!
3. Strength-Focused -
When possible, try to tie an encouragement to a strength of said person. You are looking to affirm the strengths, gifts, passions, and wiring of said person.
All of us battle insecurities. One of the most powerful realizations for our spiritual growth is accepting the person God specifically made us to be. We don't affirm sin. But we affirm strengths. When our strengths are affirmed. We are able to continue to grow as a follower of Jesus.
I recently told a fiery friend who frequently voices her concerns about our church:
"I want to thank you for bringing your concern to me. I appreciate that you have always been honest with me. I'm grateful that God brought you to our church and into my life. I will become a better leader because of people like you."
So, if you see certain gifts, strengths, passions, and wiring of a person - you want to affirm those qualities and strengths in that person.
Encouragement is important. Don't think that this is only for the "weak".
(I'm talking more specifically to guys now)
All of us need encouragement. Lots of it.
It's interesting because before Jesus began His three year ministry, He was baptized. And during the baptism God the Father spoke from Heaven and encouraged His Son Jesus. What did He tell Him?
"This is My Beloved Son in who I am well pleased" (Matthew 3:17)
In other words:
"This is My Son who I love greatly! I am proud of Him!"
I find it interesting that some psychologists have asserted that the two most important things a child needs to hear from their parents are:
"I love you!"
and
"I'm proud of you!"
These words that God the Father sent to God the Son were important for Jesus and the mission the Father had for Him. I'm sure Jesus was deeply blessed by these words. They probably repeated in His mind during the tough moments of His ministry and suffering.
And so with us - we need encouragement to "keep on keeping on".
The Enemy brings deep discouragement. This world is filled with reasons for discouragement to abound. Let's "build up" the "broken hearts" with the power of encouragement.
"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." (5:11)
Paul told the church in Ephesus:
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." (4:29)
Can you think of a time when you were feeling very down? Fear or shame dominated your heart. You were down and depressed. Your hope was dim. The grey clouds were out and about. Your heart felt... broken.
You reached out to someone you respect. Someone who cares about you. And that person gave you the perfect encouragement that changed the way you felt. Changed the way you thought. And suddenly you felt your broken heart being "built up".
That's the power of encouragement.
And here's the truth.... All of us... Need it. Lot's of it too.
But what's interesting is that though we all need it and though we all thoroughly enjoy when someone encourages us - sometimes it's so darn hard to do it. Sometimes we fumble over our words. Sometimes, it's pride that keeps us from "stooping so low". For many of us, it's challenging... "How do you do that?"
Recently, I received a Pastoral training on something rather interesting. It wasn't on how to preach better or how to get more volunteers. No, it was about how to encourage.
Our training mentioned three things that I found memorable and very practical. I'd like to share those with you, THC. Keep this in mind especially in the context of your Family Churches.
HOW TO ENCOURAGE:
1. Sincere -
It begins with "why".
"Why am I about to encourage this person?" - This is the question you need to start with.
Real encouragement begins with a true and genuine heart towards said person and said action.
The bible is clear that flattery is a sin. (Psalms 5:9). Flattery is defined as:
"excessive and insincere praise, especially that given to further one's own interests."
So, if the reason you want to encourage this person is actually self-serving in some way. Slap yo self for your selfishness (slap softly). Have a moment of repenting before the Lord and ask Him to give you a sincere heart that wants only to serve the other person.
Personally speaking, this is sometimes an area of struggle for me. You see, I'm a "words-of-affirmation-guy". I love to give and receive love through encouragements and affirmations.
Sometimes when I feel discouraged, I find myself reaching out to others to encourage them. Part of this is good because I've been trained (correctly) to not focus on me but on others when feeling down. But what I sometimes find, in myself, is that I'm hoping for the other person to return the favor and encourage me.
In those moments, I need to anchor my heart to the deeply encouraging truth in the gospel. That is enough for me. He is sufficient. He is the firm foundation I need.
Encouragement that blesses God's heart must be based in sincere love for the other person. And one of the characteristics of Christ-like love is that it isn't "self-seeking" (1 Corinthians 13:4)
So... check yo self before you... encourage (Man... I was hoping that could rhyme somehow...oh well).
True encouragement is based in a desire to "build up" the other person, not yourself.
2. Specific -
Don't generalize your encouragement. Pin-point WHY said person or action blessed you.
Don't say to someone who just led worship:
"Hey, great job!"
Say:
"Hey, those were great worship songs. I enjoyed how much passion you sang with. Thanks ______ for leading us in song."
Don't say to someone who just shared something vulnerable:
"Thanks for sharing."
Say:
"Thank you for sharing what you shared. It blesses me that you would trust us with this level of vulnerability. That reminds me that I, too, can freely share in a trusting community."
Do you see? Be more specific. Craft your words in your mind before you say them. The truth is that all four statements above are well-intentioned. They are designed to "build up" and encourage another person. But the reality is simple and generalized encouragements fall off like water poured on a wet penguin's back. We easily forget. They don't have "staying" power in our hearts. They don't "move" us to continue in our mission. They don't inspire.
If you really want to "build up" the other person. Build them up! With sincere specificity!
3. Strength-Focused -
When possible, try to tie an encouragement to a strength of said person. You are looking to affirm the strengths, gifts, passions, and wiring of said person.
All of us battle insecurities. One of the most powerful realizations for our spiritual growth is accepting the person God specifically made us to be. We don't affirm sin. But we affirm strengths. When our strengths are affirmed. We are able to continue to grow as a follower of Jesus.
I recently told a fiery friend who frequently voices her concerns about our church:
"I want to thank you for bringing your concern to me. I appreciate that you have always been honest with me. I'm grateful that God brought you to our church and into my life. I will become a better leader because of people like you."
So, if you see certain gifts, strengths, passions, and wiring of a person - you want to affirm those qualities and strengths in that person.
Encouragement is important. Don't think that this is only for the "weak".
(I'm talking more specifically to guys now)
All of us need encouragement. Lots of it.
It's interesting because before Jesus began His three year ministry, He was baptized. And during the baptism God the Father spoke from Heaven and encouraged His Son Jesus. What did He tell Him?
"This is My Beloved Son in who I am well pleased" (Matthew 3:17)
In other words:
"This is My Son who I love greatly! I am proud of Him!"
I find it interesting that some psychologists have asserted that the two most important things a child needs to hear from their parents are:
"I love you!"
and
"I'm proud of you!"
These words that God the Father sent to God the Son were important for Jesus and the mission the Father had for Him. I'm sure Jesus was deeply blessed by these words. They probably repeated in His mind during the tough moments of His ministry and suffering.
And so with us - we need encouragement to "keep on keeping on".
The Enemy brings deep discouragement. This world is filled with reasons for discouragement to abound. Let's "build up" the "broken hearts" with the power of encouragement.
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